The following was taken by Amie Carter's wordpress blog "More Than Hope MI".
More Ramblings…un-edited Edit
Posted by amiem012 in Uncategorized on November 27, 2012
While picking up the living room tonight, i got thinking of all the things people dont know that go on in a home with a child with ASD.
Jayden always has the tv loud. (We took him to a hearing specialist a few years ago and he hears background noise more than regular noise). He goes through 5 to 8 items of clothing a day. He doesn’t wet his pants but he wets in himself a lot. He gets water all over himself but he will do a great job washing his hands. When I try to correct him and help to slow him down, he yells “I can do it”.
He doesn’t mind being wet if he does it to himself. He constantly needs something. If he is not engaged in an activity, he is either arguing, talking, needing, wanting and asking for something, complaining about something, referencing the current event to a past event and then another similar. He always wants me to text or call whatever person he wants to see or want them to take him to McDonald’s or Burger King or 7-11 for a slurpee.
Most things you ask him to do, he doesn’t want to. Occasionally he will help and he enjoys it and helps well. We have fun.
But about 7 out of 10 times it leads to a huge fight and the change of his mood all day. So I try to avoid confrontation and pick my battles. I can usually talk him through the anger and compromise with him so he still does the task but its less work, no reward compromise. Recently I asked him to unload the silverware from the dishwasher (that has just been fixed after 2 years)!
He was excited, proud, and he did a great job! He even showed me the pattern he put them in “big forks, little forks, little spoons, big spoons”.
Know he loves to help do that. Unless he is in a mood, which is 4 out of 7 days. When jayden gets anxiety, he takes shorter breaths, his heart races, he gets warm. He moves his legs and can’t stand still, he hand flaps and yells. He’s very angry, aggressive. He uses inappropriate language only when he’s angry. Or sometime to be funny, really. But not often and he shortens the word or says “I almost sad the A word”.
Sorry. And laughs. He has violent outburst usually when he is standing his ground to get his way. It seems to stem from the initial anxiety. He gets startled by a noise, a moving vehicle, something he is afraid of or a thought of something he wants or forgot or was promised and he instantly wants it now and gets extremely angry.
Loses all logic in the front lobal area of the brain. A chemical in his brain is released and he is unable to have logic or reasoning skills. He is acting purely on emotion. He is always in the “fight or flight mode”. About 20 minutes sometimes 30. He will calm down and be able to understand and be compliant.
There have been times when the meltdown has lead to 30 minutes of restraining him out front of Kroger, target and Walmart. Also, self injurious behaviors such as wetting himself, biting his arms, trying to vomit and hitting, kicking, biting, throwing, stomping, spitting and cussing.
Did I mention Jayden is 80 lbs. ?
On the flip side. Jayden can be so sweet, just being around him for a few minutes, when he is being good. You see what an awesome little boy he is. He may be clumsy at times but his brain is unbelievable. The thoughts, stories, dreams and the knowledge he has is amazing. He is a unique little boy with amazing talents.
Not just one thing though, a lot of autistic children have one thing they are really good at. Jayden is just good at whatever he tries to do after awhile. He is more talented in overcoming.
For example he has never had good balance. Very clumsy as a baby/toddler. I have watched him learn how to balance his body. He is very social at times, wants to tell everyone anything that comes to mind or what things are reminding him of.
He makes jokes, loves music, movies and video games. Can’t live without chocolate milk, still in a sippy cup.
He loves to dance, wrestle, play football and any contact sport. Jayden is hypo sensitive and cannot feel as much as we do. He loves baseball and football the most, and has a great throw!